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What You’re Doing (and Not Doing)
There are two facets to dating: casual dating or serious dating. Casual dating tends to be your “what are friends for?” type of relationship—you’re casually hanging out and the goals are simply to spend time with that person, on a platonic level, and to put it in writing. You’re not necessarily looking to have a relationship, so you’re not throwing away your dignity or your confidence by going out. You may even meet other people.
“Casual” doesn’t mean you’re not interested in the person—it just means you’re playing it safe. “Fair” doesn’t mean you’re looking for a relationship, it just means you’re being honest with yourself. And “dating” doesn’t have to mean coffee dates—it means putting yourself out there to meet as many people as you can, ideally in a variety of formats.
As for whether you’re interested in dating the person you’re with, what they have, what they’re interested in, etc., go with the flow. Talk about your day with a friend, spend time in common activities (hiking, walking, etc.) Share your favorite books, movies, or music with your partner. A lot of couples don’t do these things, and it’s fine to have interests that diverge, but it doesn’t hurt to be in sync.
If you decide to take this relationship more seriously, it’ll be a different discussion. Casual dating is all about spontaneity and ease. Serious dating is all about thoughtfulness and making things work. Think of dating as two different opportunities to present yourself.
C.J.
Building Up Your Cv
If you’re serious about finding a partner, you’re probably going to have to do more than just what any other person is doing. You’re going to have to do your own marketing and screen your potential partners, and that means building a CV that shows off the best aspects of yourself.
Start with your personal web.
Even if you’re not currently looking to date, you’re probably still building a web presence, whether you know it or not. If you’re into design, contribute to a high-traffic blog or website about anything that’s of interest to you. And if you’re in a position where you can make money by doing it, you should, because you’re marketing yourself. (Etsy has some great resources for promoting yourself.) Next step is to add https://www.bride-ukraine.net/articles/hook-up-ukrainian-girls-on-adult-sites-best-guide-2022
Note: This guide is geared towards the 21st century, and the best way to figure out what a person means when they say things like, “I like myself more than I used to” is to ask them.
By the way, if you only want one tip, this is it. All the rest are part of your life and your ongoing quest to evolve as a person and a lover.
1) Try to have fun.
This should be the single most important thing about any date. Do you have a good time on the date, or is it just business? Any relationship should at least partly be enjoyable. The problem is that sometimes, I think people feel they need to be serious on a date. They think if they’re having fun, then they’re not going to be taken seriously. That doesn’t work. You have to find a way to make the relationship fun on both sides, or at least your end. A relationship, at the very least, should be something you look forward to getting out of bed in the morning for, to get a little closer to who you are. Making a relationship fun not only makes it easier to get through the rough patches, it makes it more enjoyable. For a first date, try to actually have fun.
You don’t need to do anything crazy, but even asking someone out to a board game or doing trivia or something with a bunch of friends can be a fun date. As your relationship develops you will learn what you both love, and you can make it fun for both of you. Also, make sure you’re comfortable asking the person out. Maybe you can go up to them in a crowded place like a coffee shop or a bar and ask them out, or you could message them on social media and then make the first move. Either way, ask them out so you can have some fun, but also so you can make a good impression.
The first time you ask someone out you should always try to have fun, whether it’s one time or a regularly scheduled date. It’ll feel great in the long run.
2) Don’t look at everything through a microscope.
At the very least, the person you’re meeting should be attractive and interesting. But, don’t start thinking every little thing about them is so important. Date. Like. Be. A. Date. It’s okay that you don’t love every little piece of about a person you’re meeting. If you’re attracted to the person
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