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Dating apps have changed the way we date, but they’re not always so great. If you’re more into the old-school concept of the bar/hotel/restaurant, then you’ll find yourself starved for the real-life experience of making and maintaining strong connections. If you want a different kind of dating experience—a different kind of connection—then you’ll want to know how to move to that next level. That’s what you’re looking for, so let’s get started!
Dating apps aren’t for everyone
Dating apps are more about the availability of a person, and not their personality. If you are seeking someone who is stable, attentive, and a good conversationalist, then you should choose a dating app where you have these attributes first, because you can’t read into someone else’s personality when you’ve never met them in person. However, if you are in the market for someone who shares your interests or is fun and flirty, then maybe an app where everyone is that person is more for you.
1. Let ’em know what you want
Dating apps work by advertising themselves in some way. If you come across a person whose profile says things like “I’m looking for something serious” or “I just want to find that perfect person,” it says a few things about them. Either they’re not looking for someone serious or someone who is, which is a good thing for you. If you’re interested in someone who is more socially-oriented, then apps like Hinge will tell you what they are interested in doing. If you’re looking for someone who shares your interests, then apps like Tastebuds will give you some clues.
And, since you’re able to pick and choose, you can choose the ones that most appeal to you, rather than taking the first person who writes something on his or her profile. If you’re looking for someone who is into, say, music, then those dating apps can give you some hints as to whether or not he or she has interests in music. You can also use the personality test on Zoosk to see how that person is in general. If you’re willing to take a chance on someone, then you can also always follow up in person if you think something about the person is off.
2. Use common sense
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We’re going to break the whole process down for you, even if you’re just meeting someone in a bar or at a party. While true love might not be finding you at the next shindig, these six steps to a solid first date can help you make the kind of connection that will ultimately lead to romance.
1. Pick a Bar or a Party
You may be no stranger to bars, and that’s great—you’re a natural pick. Bars are the best place to meet people because they let you know right away if you and the other person are a good fit. If you’re getting along, then the place will buzz with excitement. If the conversation moves slow, then the parties are the place to be. If you’re already on a date, then you can pretty much know for sure where you stand with the other person right away.
But if you’re a little shy and just want to meet someone who’s interesting enough to have a good time with, you’re better off at a party. A party is the perfect first date because it lets you know right away if a person is with you for the right reasons. If you walk into a party and say, “I’m interested in meeting some new people,” you’ll probably end up with people who are a match for you. On the other hand, you’ll have a lot fewer non-partygoers wandering around if you say, “I’m looking to meet some new people.” In this case, the people you meet have no better reason to be there than you—they just want to be at the party too.
Bar or party? You’ll be happy with the result.
2. Reach Out to Someone You Like First
Now that you have a date for the evening, your first task is to get a sense of the person you’ve been chatting with. You don’t have to open up to the person right off the bat, but you should be able to offer at least some insight into the person. If you’re going on a date with someone you met in a bar, you should have a pretty good idea of whether or not you want to see the person again.
If you’re at a party and chatting it up with someone you’d like to see again, you should already have a general idea of whether or not you want to see that person again. However, you can take it a step further by a text saying something like, “Hey! I really enjoyed talking with you
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